I can’t quite pinpoint the moment when I decided I wanted to use mirrors as part of my work – but I have always loved them, and their other worldly qualities. I know it is a bit of a cliche to use a mirror to illustrate reflection / identity – but sometimes – if something works – then – it’s ok? Nothing is original anyway.
Mood : It’s becoming physically literally simply completely impossible to actually do anything that feels worth anything…
2 years of self directed study are coming to an end.. and I feel like I have very little to show for it. Others may disagree with me of course, in fact, a lot of people have. It has been worth it, hasn’t it? I know for sure the last 2 years have changed my life – that has to count for something, right?
And.. well.. I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to sum up my work – what is the conclusion to all of this?
I guess – the only thing I can say for sure is that… I’m alive.
And if life = art then that is probably a good thing.
Mood : Survival is enough
(Wish I had evolved enough by now to not question every thing and be able to get over self loathing/hatred/uncertainty. But if I was in that place then this journey would be over. And even though the end is nigh, it’s not finished yet. It probably never will be. Time is relative.)
I started taking photos again. As me. As ALAN. Thoughtlessly. Not with my camera, with my crappy phone, because I stopped carrying my camera around with me, because I fell out of love with photography – or really, it fell out of love with me, and it hurt too much to have that weight hanging round my neck.
Hey hey, congrats on the sales .. I think it’s incredibly brave to make a book of words that come from oneself, and I have enjoyed reading you 🙂 as for dinner.. I will, ___ be your friend (should you want such a thing) til the day I die -however I am not in any sort of place to ‘date’ (eugh sorry I am embarrassing myself) or be in a relationship or anything.. Or nothing..
Saying that, should you ever want to chat or have company whilst eating / drinking one day, then sure, let me know 🙂 hope your 1st full week as a 31 year old is full of almost middle aged fun ha x see you soon? Xxx L
Ps. I am very flattered that you asked me, out of all the people in the world
Pps thank you so for the poem, has been a while since anyone has written a poem about / for me and it is a lovely sentiment, I’m very touched 🙂
21 Oct 2015 14:17
Hey sorry I’m not free tonight 🙁 I need like 3 days advance warning at least! Have fun 🙂 x
Ps I hate Halloween I get scared too easily and have a physical aversion to masks wigs etc eugh
Hypothesis : That I will not meet ‘the one’ but I will have some good conversations, ‘real life’ meetings and make some new friends.
Actually, let’s think about this – this is Tinder we are talking about. So, scratch that. Hypothesis II : I will experience utter disappointment after secretly hoping to meet ‘the one’ (even though this is Tinder we are talking about) and my faith in humanity will most definitely not be restored.