Tagged personal

the end is nigh

Mood : It’s becoming physically literally simply completely impossible to actually do anything that feels worth anything…

2 years of self directed study are coming to an end.. and I feel like I have very little to show for it.  Others may disagree with me of course, in fact, a lot of people have.  It has been worth it, hasn’t it?  I know for sure the last 2 years have changed my life – that has to count for something, right?

And.. well.. I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to sum up my work – what is the conclusion to all of this?

I guess – the only thing I can say for sure is that… I’m alive.

And if life = art then that is probably a good thing.

Ok. Hmm.

Change.

Mood : Survival is enough

(Wish I had evolved enough by now to not question every thing and be able to get over self loathing/hatred/uncertainty.  But if I was in that place then this journey would be over.  And even though the end is nigh, it’s not finished yet.  It probably never will be.  Time is relative.)

 

Journal s01e05

26 Nov 2015 20:57

You have received a message from Leonie. This is that message. I’m on brauny gate

This is like a crap spy mission

I’m going into tesco for vodka

Meet me at the front doors to said shop looking shifty

 

2 Dec 2015 21:35

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

Ha ah we are pretty much the same then.



Journal s01e04

30 Nov 2015 11:50

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

Ha!! Can I write that on my new tinder profile?! (I was so tempted to log back on last night ha but I didn’t ha ha) ahh cool yay! Have a think of songs .. I’d love to do cover of something completely unexpected.. I have some original stuff but it’s not ever gonna be ready ha. And we can aim for Feb if January is too tight xxx woooo excitement! ❤ ️

2 Dec 2015 13:12

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

I folded and re tindered. I am now on an impromptu tinder coffee date ahghhhh

This is all your fault ! Xx

 

13:12

It’s daylight man and I’m not prepared. Alan where are you

13:13

Ahhh congrats 🙂 in happy for you. I hope it’s going well xx

13:13

Ha Alan best get with the program stat!

13:14

Ah sweet. Yeh you seemed really happy the other day yayyyy 🙂

13:14

I had 3 minutes and I ran to put my eye dots in hahaaa

13:15

Only started chatting to this guy yesterday! Ha I’m such a player. He seems nice though. In virtual form. We will see……… Xx

13:16

I told him about Alan tho and he started calling me Alan. Ha

13:59

What do you say if you just wanna be friends. Or nothing. Nothing? Shall j just let him msg me first?! We were sposed to meet tomorrow ahgh but his meeting got cancelled so he came met me today. I have no idea $ 7 2 8

14:05

No romance I don’t think ha

This is all your fault ! Xx

Oh geez totes awks

I wrote some songs. Is this Art?

I made these tracks after sitting at my piano crying as I improvised some words and music to cope with a crippling pain that I was experiencing at the time.  The original words and music were not meant for public consumption – so I kinda watered them down into this – which I can play without crying.

I cry a lot these days.  Not gonna tell you here why.

 

LSTLV2

 

LSTLV – DRUM SYNTH VERSION (Took the notes from the piano and re-wrote the ‘song’ in an iphone app – tweaked it a bit and came up with this)

Journal S01E02

21 May 2015 23:25

Alex dubarry-gurr

I sent you another message that said good coffee today but I don’t think it worked. Do you want a pebble watch to get notifications on your wrist? It’s cool

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

Ha no babes nerrrrddd

Haha

Maybe Alan wants one

That will be really cool Alan should definitely have one

 

Alan is a geek

Like you

I’m literally replying to you without even using my finger tips I’m never typing

 

How

By voice?!

Yeah I speak to my wrist and it types my voice and then send it sometimes it goes a bit weird and doesn’t recognise me ha ha hah


6 Aug 2015 18:28

Are u skating tonight?

Can u run to mom and dads quick?

Just need ya for a sec please it’s important


11 Sep 2015 14:57

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

Hey al it says tonight starts at 7.30 but I probably won’t get there til 8?! If crap we go drink somewhere 🙂 x what you wearing???? Xxx

Ps I’m excited to go out with you! Gonna see if tash wants to come Liam will have baby

Alex dubarry-gurr

Yeah cool. I’m excited too 🙂 I’m gonna wear my silver body con I think and trainers. I have three bites on my legs tho. Well itchy 🙁

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

Ha ok ew. Tash ain’t comin. I either wear green sparkle top and jeans, glittery zig zag dress or orange dress (but it’s cold!) ha tell me what to wear! Look at us were like sisters bffs

Leonie DuBarry-Gurr

As part of our performance art we’re only allowed to drink other people’s drinks

Alex dubarry-gurr

Hahaha

 

Journal s01e01 (Pilot)

 

 

24 Apr 2015

Alex

16:47

👧 is Alan a girl?

 

Leonie

16:48

Alan is a pixel


18 Oct 2015 22:35

Hey hey, congrats on the sales .. I think it’s incredibly brave to make a book of words that come from oneself, and I have enjoyed reading you 🙂 as for dinner.. I will, ___ be your friend (should you want such a thing) til the day I die -however I am not in any sort of place to ‘date’ (eugh sorry I am embarrassing myself) or be in a relationship or anything.. Or nothing..

Ahgh
Saying that, should you ever want to chat or have company whilst eating / drinking one day, then sure, let me know 🙂 hope your 1st full week as a 31 year old is full of almost middle aged fun ha x see you soon? Xxx L
Ps. I am very flattered that you asked me, out of all the people in the world
Pps thank you so for the poem, has been a while since anyone has written a poem about / for me and it is a lovely sentiment, I’m very touched 🙂

 

21 Oct 2015 14:17

Hey sorry I’m not free tonight 🙁 I need like 3 days advance warning at least! Have fun 🙂 x

Ps I hate Halloween I get scared too easily and have a physical aversion to masks wigs etc eugh


TinderLust

// A sort of experiment

Hypothesis : That I will not meet ‘the one’ but I will have some good conversations, ‘real life’ meetings and make some new friends.
Actually, let’s think about this – this is Tinder we are talking about. So, scratch that.
Hypothesis II : I will experience utter disappointment after secretly hoping to meet ‘the one’ (even though this is Tinder we are talking about) and my faith in humanity will most definitely not be restored.

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