Over the past few months – probably since before Christmas – I have been thinking about how to present a consolidation of my work at the final / summer show.
As the intended outcome of my work inevitably changed COMPLETELY from my first proposal (though the main themes remain quite similar), I really had no idea what I was going to do, what I would show, how anything would work.
This is what I spend all my time doing. Playing.
I got a new toy to play with, a little vocal fx unit with a basic loop capability. I think I made it make me sound like ALAN.
This is an example of one of my many epic tests… Could ALAN make an album? HMMMM
All this is done by my voice, hitting things with drum sticks, and my out of tune violin. If you get to the end, you win.
I made these tracks after sitting at my piano crying as I improvised some words and music to cope with a crippling pain that I was experiencing at the time. The original words and music were not meant for public consumption – so I kinda watered them down into this – which I can play without crying.
I cry a lot these days. Not gonna tell you here why.
LSTLV – DRUM SYNTH VERSION (Took the notes from the piano and re-wrote the ‘song’ in an iphone app – tweaked it a bit and came up with this)
I was ALAN when I sang some stuff and played drums in public today (as part of an open artists studio event in town). Actually – was ALAN me? Or are we just the same?
It was also daylight. Also the boy I like who doesn’t like me was there.
It’s hard to ALAN. It’s hard to me. But somehow I’m doing it. I have to.
Playing with glitchy gif maker thing on my phone helps pass the unbearable time spent with boy who doesn’t like me when we go out for a cigarette. I was trying to be cool, he likes digital things.. and I glitched a photo of him.
And I took a photo as proof of my hand. I mean ALAN’s hand. Maybe my hand, ALAN’s boot.
So.. is ALAN a musician now? I think so. Is music Art? I think so. Doing music when you’re being someone else and for the sake of being an artist is Art I think. The lines are fuzzy.